[davide]

I keep having my profile on that dating website 'Match.com' rejected. One of the questions is, 'What do you want in a woman?'. Apparently 'my c*ck' is not an acceptable answer.


A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'can I please have a KitKat Chunky?' The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him. 'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat b1tch.'


My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood. We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big f*cking red mark on her forehead.


I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance. So I pushed her over.


Zebo, a half blind five year old south african orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, it's f*cking hilarious....


A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; 'F*ck off, you won't bring it back.'