An airplane completely full is going to crash and the capt says we have enough parachutes for all but 3 passengers. He says we need 3 brave souls to jump without a chute and will be forever remembered as heros. All the passengers look around at each other when a French man jumps up, runs to the open door, yells Viva La France and jumps out. Just then an Englishman jumps up and he too goes to the door and yells, God save the Queen and leaps. Finally a big burly Texan with a Ten gallon hat jumps up, grabs the Mexican sitting in front of him, throws him out the door and says, "remember the Alamo".
guy walks into a bar sits down at a stool. Bartender ask what will you have? guy looks into his shirt pocket and say shot of whiskey. Few mins later bartender ask same guy what he wanted...again guy looks into his shirt pocket and again he says shot fo whiskey. After about 5 shots guy calls bartender over and ask guy for another shot. bartender says i have no problem serving you but why do you keep looking into your shirt pocket before ordering. Guys replies, its a picture of my wife. When she starts looking good I will go home.
A blonde had gotten a dent in her car and asked a neighbor how she would get it out. Neighbor said that she needed to blow on the tail pipe and the dent would pop out. After about 30 mins of trying another blond (her friend) shows up and asked her what she was doing. The 1st blonde said i am trying to blow ou t the dent in my car.......Her friend said you are such a blond, you need to roll up the windows first.
A blonde walks into an appliance store wanting a TV. So she walks up to an employee and asks "can i buy that TV over there". He says "I'm sorry miss we don't sell TVs to dumb blonds store policy". She walks out of the store, and goes and gets her hair dyed red..a week later she comes back into the store and walks up to the same employee and asks again "can i buy that TV over there", He says "I'm sorry miss we don't sell TVs to dumb blonds". She walks out of the store, and goes and gets her hair dyed black and gets plastic surgery...another week later she comes back into the store and walks up to the same employee and asks again "can i buy that TV over there", He says "I'm sorry miss we don't sell TVs to dumb blonds". She says "how do you know i am a dumb blonde i have dyed my hair 2 times and even gotten plastic surgery", He says "miss your trying to buy a microwave".
PS3 Network ID: K-O-D_1BuletLeft and OneBulletLeft
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 897
Re: Tell A Joke!!!!
Three guys die and go to heaven. When they arrive Saint Peter tells them that since they all led their lives in a good manner that they would be able to watch their own funerals. Saint Peter asks them...."What would you like to hear people say about you at your funeral?". The first guy says..." I'd like to hear people say that I was a stand up guy always willing to help anyone in need!" The second guy says...." I'd like everyone to know that I was a Good husband and father and always put family first!" The third guy says " I'd like to hear...'Look he's moving!!!'
three guys die and goto heaven...once they get there St.Peter tells them that since they all lived good lives they would be allowed to watch their own funeral. St.Peter asks them what each one would like to hear at their funeral. the first guys says" i'd like to hear that i was a real stand up guy and always helped those in need!" the second guy says " i would like to hear how i was a good husband and father and always put family first!" the third guy says " i'd like to hear..." hey look! he's moving!"
the second time you said it it wasnt as funny.
how do you starve a black man? put his food stamps in his work boot...
whats the diffrence between a black man and a pizza?? the pizza can feed a family of 3.
whats the difference between a dead racoon on the road and a dead bblack man on the road?..... the racoon had skid marks leading up to it.
why do black people lean to the middle when they drive? .... cuz they think the smell is coming from outside..
no offense... if you know mexican ones tell them. i dont know any or i would
